Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but now you can't see where you're going either.

I wish for a waiter to bring me my soup.

 

Granted, but he peed in it, to fill it up quicker.

I wish I could get Adobe After Effects for free.

 

Granted, war is resolved. But you die in a trucking accident, before you get to see it.

I wish women wouldn't be so hormonal when being pregnant.

 

Granted, but women cannot be pregnant anymore.

The human civilization is doomed to die in 80-100 years.

I wish I could pick up any chick I want.

 

children of men happens!111

Granted, but they run off after five minutes

I wish I knew every single language.

 

Granted, but you only know two words of each.

I wish for Severance

 

Not granted. kuro will never release Severance, sorry.

I wish for Severance.

 

Granted, but all Severance actually is is gay porn.

I wish for a bigger penis.

 

Spoiler

thats long enough for me to bang them

Granted, but it's larger than your leg. It will almost always be scraping against the ground painfully.

Also, no chick will want to tap that.

I wish for a beautiful wife that will stay with me forever in an immortal love.

 

Granted, but when she sees you naked, she dies anyway.

I wish for a car, that doesn't have a shitty Moped engine.

 

Granted, you have a car running off a leafblower engine.

I wish I could stop shoving things in my ass.

 

Granted, but now you have to have the constant-sensation of something being in your ass.

I wish anti-virus didn't exist.

 

Granted, but your computer becomes so full of viruses, it actually decides to self-destruct. You've got five seconds, before you die.

I wish for North-Korea to vanish.

 

2bad

I wish for burrito.

 

Granted, but it's a burrito that tastes like shit.

I wish for sex.

 

Granted, but you have aids.
I wish I had herpes.

 

Granted.

I wish for a special-er burrito.

 

Granted, it's made out of shit.
I wish for a acoustic guitar to be a douchebag.

 

Granted, but it's destroyed in another earthquake in Haiti.


I wish for a Garry's Mod Update that does not break the game itself.

 

Granted, but it destroys all of Steam.

I wish for less CS:GO 75% noobs.