The C16 Tavern

WARNING! EXTREME AUTISM MAY OCCUR!​

​

Ever tired of a day at work or of Soviet Jesus' constant whining? Need a place to go rant and crack open a cold beer? Look no further than the CloudSixteen Tavern!

I'll be the current bartender of course, but this may change at any time. Jobs are available to anyone who asks.

NOTE: JUST CAUSE YOU CAN POST WHAT YOU LIKE HERE IN THE TAVERN, THIS IS A ROLEPLAY-ISH THING. THAT MEANS CONTRIBUTE OR BE THROWN OUT IN THE WAY A STEREOTYPICAL BARTENDER WOULD DO. SHORT POSTS ARE ALSO NOT ACCEPTED. PLEASE KEEP THEM OVER TWO LINES TO KEEP FROM BEING BRANDED AS "SHITPOSTING".

Job List:
Co-Bartender 1 - (Open)
Co-Bartender 2 - (Open)
Bouncer - Tommy The Buff OP Black Guy Seigfred
Security - kurozael RJ TheGarry
Frequent Singer/Entertainer - Oliver Carswell
Local Drunk - Halokiller Shut "The fuck" Up Walter
Cleaner - SomeSortOfDuck (Open)
Electrician - (Open)
Advertiser - (Open)
Decorator - (Open)


Tavern Rules:

1. Never, in any circumstance should you enter the Private Room without explicit permission.
2. Don't barf at the Wii, Karoke Machine or whatever.
3. No cardboard boxes allowed.
4. Toilets are just here for crap, not your trash.
5. Don't destroy the Tavern.
6. Don't light the box of fireworks while they're in the building.



Without further ado, let us begin.
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The local bar has just opened on Duck Street. Signs can be seen throughout town telling about this new bar and how it had just opened. The local bartender sits behind the counter of his empty tavern and waits for customers to come in.

 

love how you're resorting to taking the piss out of soviet jesus because you're the one everyone rips the piss out of.

 

im ddosing the bars wifi

 

Jonne. I'm fucking choking on dick I'm laughing so hard.

 

you're fucked now, faggots

 

*walks through town, noticing the signs spreading a false accusation, knowing of the butthurt population, he reluctantly enters the bar, shuffling straight to the bar. Sitting down, he looks up trying to identify the bartender, also known as DarkWolf, swiftly moving a hand down he goes for his gun. Which is securely tucked in his belt loop. Asspulling unlimited ammo, he brings the pistol up the the bartenders face, as he does so. Duck bursts out of the Private Room, sending shitpost warnings and 2 day bans flying in the air, ultimately removing Jesus' hope of "legendary" thread posting.*

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y2zo0JN2HE

hE'S GONNA HACK THE lUA FILES AND geT INTO THE PENTAGON

IM TRYING STOP HIM

 

*A message produces an all electronic devices within the tavern, sparking jimmies being rustled. The message reads:

Fucking just for you , did you say what the fuck bitch about me a little bit you? I need to have confirmed the kill more than 300 I I graduated top of my class of Navy SEALs is you , I know, and I've been involved in the attack of the secret of the number on the Al ? Quaeda I have a . I'm a top sniper of the entire U.S. military and I have trained in gorilla warfare . There is nothing to me You do not have to target just . Purges the fuck you in the accuracy of that like I never mark the words of my fucking , you have seen before on this planet . I think you will be able to escape to say shit to me on the Internet ? Stupid people , please think again . We are in contact with the network of my secret spy in the United States overall , and to speak to your IP is being traced now , better storm , I , preparation of maggots . The storm that wiped a small pathetic call your life . You are dead , it's fucking child . I can be anywhere at any time , can kill you in a way more than 700 , I'm in my bare hands just it . I was trained in unarmed combat extensively , but you shit a little , miserable your ass off the face of the continent I am and I have access to the Arsenal of the United States Marine Corps whole to wipe , just do not use it to its fullest . If only it is possible to knew retaliation things unclean that was going to bring down upon you and the " smart " small your comments , you will have held a fucking your tongue maybe you . But you , now , you , could not you were not paying goddamn , the price fool you . Shit of anger you all , I will drown you in it . Dead , you're fucking you.*

 

Navy seal copypasta? Nice.

*realizes his defeat, as almost everyone in the community hates him.*

Well, this is 200th post, big fucking whoop. And I'm sure everyone that is a legendary hates me, all I'm trying to say is I try my best to help people and enjoy the forums to it's fullest. Not striving for a group or anything.

>200th post.

 

Duck the cleaning god opens the doors to the tavern, approaching the bar.

I'm a broke college student who's living solely off ramen. Let me clean stuff for you.

 

*In a blink of an eye, you see Duck bursting into a sprint with a shit ton of money, chicken and a television.

 

The bartender looks up to the man who walked in. "I will need your name and know if you can use a mop." While speaking, the bartender is wiping the counter with a cloth.

 

My name is duck and I can definitely handle a mop. I used to clean for my local school.

 

I suggest this be moved to the Private sector or something, this is basically a thread on which you can shitpost as much as you want, you just gotta make a few things up and click the 'post' button.

 

The bartender leans down and picks up a old wooden mop. "If you could, clean over there for me." He points to the corner around the karaoke machine. "Someone was in here earlier and spilled a boot."

(And Niker, no it's not. kuro just isn't on to clean Jonne's shit.)

 

>>Out from the darkness of the Legendary Sector of the bar, comes a 6'4" figure, with massive talons upon its fingers, and ten kunais divided into two boxes of five, strapped to either thigh. Its massive two mandibles seem stationary, and the smaller cylindrical piece from the middle of the two mandibles seems to be some sort of gas mask. It walks around, looking at all of the Newcomers, welcoming them in. In doing so, he just so happens to stumble across a few, "Reknowned," faggots. The only thing coming from their repulsive faces, would be loads, upon loads of shit. One of these, "Reknowned," figures being Soviet Jesus. One of most autistic shit-posters in the, "Reknowned," category. The figure seems to stop by Soviet Jesus, only for maybe a moment or two, commenting on how pitiful Soviet Jesus is. He walks by Duck, and proceeds to beg him for the answer of the object that's about the size of a PC monitor, but finally gives up. It walks over to JonneBravo, the almost-successful hacker, and simply asks,

"What brought you to this autistic place?"

 

A burly man walks from the Legendary Sector, armed with nothing but his bulging biceps. He is of an incredibly dark pigment, with pearly white teeth. He is 6'5 in height, and wearing thick, black clothing. Approaching the counter, he sits on a barstool, only to break it due to his muscular weight. Standing up instead, he leans on the counter with his arms, forcing the bartender to look in his direction.

"Yo. I'm lookin' fer a job. Give me one."

im a nigger

 

"Sir, if you could remove your arms from the counter, I may give you a job." The bartender pours a drink for one of the new legendaries as a celebration drink. "Half priced celebration for you."