The C16 Tavern

Suddenly, a naked man walks into the bar. Various patrons of the bar would turn to stare at the man, some in awe, some in curiosity, in some in shock. He'd look around for a few moments before approaching a biker in blue jeans and a black leather jacket.

"I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle." he'd say, as nearby drinkers erupt into laughter.

"You forgot to say please." noted the biker before blowing into his cigar and planting it on the man's chest. Unphased, the man would take the biker's hand and grip it so tightly, he would yell. A second biker from behind would hit the man with a pool stick, yet it would break after hitting his back. He'd throw the pool-stick assaulter through a nearby window and into the windshield of a car, then throw the cigar-wielding man onto a lit stove as he suffers from burns.

A redneck would approach from behind the man, stabbing him with a knife. Without the slightest sign of pain, the naked man would twist the redneck's arm, breaking it and stabbing him with his own knife, to which he would begin yelling "Pull it out, pull it out!" as others fled the bar.

The naked man would reapproach the burnt biker-- now struggling for his pistol as he shakily aims it at the man. He'd rip the pistol from his hands, to which the biker would respond with a mercy cry, offering his keys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dem4QQ-tj3I

 

// t2 was one of the best movies ever made IMO.

 

The OG looks over to the man, unphased by the cigar. He proceeds to question his sexuality.

 

WHERE THE FUCK IS SECURITY!?

 

im a fucking faggot

pls rape my faggot face

faggot

User was banned for this post by SomeSortOfDuck (shitpost).

 

*A shady man donning an anonymous mask sits in the corner with his computer, booting up his software.



*Intense typing continues to come from the corner. The loudness of him typing simulates the loudness of his breathing.



*All of a sudden, the internet and the power immediately shuts down.*

 

(Is this in reaction to that DDoS on Clockwork, that ended with a security filter being set up?)
(Anyways)
Seizure man, as he calls himself, stops imitating his personal interpretation of a seizure, stands up, takes off his red 'mask', his red shorts, and his red cape, leaving him with just his casual clothes on. He pulls a plastic bag out of his pocket and puts the red items of clothing in the plastic bag. He walks over to some random guy, who by staggering coincidence happens to be the guy DDoSing the bar WiFi. Seizure man, whose calls himself 'Phil', proceeds to yank the laptop from their hands and hump the laptop while still wearing pants with such ferocity and enthusiasm that time itself cracks in twine, causing Phil to be holding a complete copy of the original laptop. Phil sets down the laptop, his plan working, as he proceeds to look in the hard-drive for folders that hopefully include explicit material and secrets, hidden within explicit material.
(Phil is not my real name btw)

 

Just then, RJ walks in, first sending a glare to JonneBravo...

JonneBravo was banned for his post by RJ (dox).

From there, RJ turns his gaze towards CakeZ getting ready to throw his -snip- but then decides to do something more fitting...

CakeZ was banned for his post by RJ (sexpornall).

RJ tosses aside his flow and flips on his fedora then approaches the bar where he puts his hands on the counter. He shouts "Barkeep!" while keeping his gaze forward, "I've come to fill the security position!"

 

The bartender looks up at the new man of blue, who appears to have done a better job than his previous man in yellowish orange. "Well. I guess you can be security then."

The bartender now sets a sign on the counter. It says: "Now accepting Co-Bartenders"

 

The OG african rages, angered that he has been replaced by a warn-lover. He gets over it, and looks to the bartender.

"Can I be the Co-Bartender, then?"

The OG african realizes he wasn't replaced, since he was the Bouncer. Looking to the security, he approaches him, extending his hand.

"Welcome to the bar staff. What's your name, white male?"

 

haken c16

 

xtrm skill

 

RJ goes to shake the hand of the OG african but is stopped dead in his tracks as his whole body vibrates like one of those dildos. Just then, RJ swiftly pulls out his pink, glitter covered phone (while looking around to make sure no one sees it) and reads over his texts.

With a broken heart, RJ lets out a soft tear as CakeZ's story has truly touched him. Thus, RJ opens CakeZ's ban and extends it by two days.

 

The OG African looks to RJ, confused as to why he stops himself from shaking his hand. Looking to his phone, he attempts to prevent himself from laughing.

/roll

OG African has rolled 69 out of 100.

The African lets out a small chuckle, however he makes it look like he was laughing at something else.

 

*The Entertainer, named as Oliver, bounces back into the club, after a week or so absence. He would notice the rather.. Homosexual cellphone of the Security girl, he proceeds to choke on his own breath of laughter, before saying the following; "He's so gay, he makes Justin Bieber look like a man!". He would then make his move, to repel the possible 99% sure chance of a ban.*

 

As usual, Oliver is late and RJ already had his phone away before Oliver arrived.

RJ thinks to himself, "What the fuck is that skitso doing?"

 

Just before Oliver knows he has psychic vision powers, that he completely asspulled from out of nowhere, he would know the man had his girl phone.

He would continue to the bar, asking for a beer.

 

The OG African would look to the man entering the bar, his eyes opening wide. Moving over to the man, he speaks in a gruff tone,

"Do you need something?"

 

He would slowly look up from his cellphone, looking at the guy infront of him. "A beer will do fine, thanks.". He would proceed to look around in the tavern, as to who could be made fun of.

 

The OG African nods, getting a beer for the man as the bartender doesn't visit the forum.